(Yesterday before they put the CPAP machine back on)Everything is crazy around here. Brad and I are exhausted- physically and emotionally. The cardiologist called Brad early yesterday morning and told him he didn't think there was anything else we could do for Brad's grandpa. Half of his heart isn't pumping, and it's just too weak to handle another bypass surgery. (5 of the 6 they did on him years ago were 100% blocked). They are giving him medicines to supposedly manage his condition, but there is nothing to improve it. So, basically, yesterday morning, the cardiologist asked Brad to discuss with his family about his grandpa being a DNR patient. He first called his mom and then met with the other brothers and Mamaw. Brad had to explain everything to them, and they agreed in the end. It was awful to watch them put that giant pink DNR sticker on his chart and have them come put that special hospital bracelet on his wrist.
He was moved out of CCU late Tuesday night and into a step-down room where we could all be around him all day. Mamaw has been lying in the bed next to him and we're all piled into the room lining the walls.
Papaw hasn't been able to talk for years because of his previous strokes, so we all try to keep the conversation going around him. Yesterday we started talking about Emily and asked Papaw who he thought she'd look like. He stared back and forth at both of us for a few seconds and then grinned and pointed at me. Brad completely broke down. I think it had finally hit him that Emily wouldn't know her great-grandfather. We had to stop talking about it because it was just too much for Brad.
They decided yesterday to let Papaw sit up in a chair for about 20 minutes. They thought it might be good for him to change positions, and it might be easier for him to breathe sitting straight up. They moved him to the chair, and he seemed okay. They decided to take his CPAP machine off his mouth and nose and try a cannula for a few minutes. His O2 sat started dropping as soon as they put this on, and the CPAP had to go back on his face.
It's so odd, because when you take the machine off his face, he looks fine...... just like Papaw. But he's struggling to breathe, so we know he's sick. Because his heart isn't pumping like it should, his lungs are filling up with fluid. His organs aren't getting the oxygen they need, so his kidneys have started having problems. It's really hard to watch this happening to him so slowly.
Please continue to pray for us and Brad's family. I don't know what to pray for at this point. I'd been praying for peace as we let him go, but then I feel like I'm giving up on him. I'm not sure you wanted this long novel, but I guess I needed to get it off my chest. The words just kept flowing as I was writing. Thank you for asking about us. I'll update you when we know anything else. I think at this point we're just waiting.
He was moved out of CCU late Tuesday night and into a step-down room where we could all be around him all day. Mamaw has been lying in the bed next to him and we're all piled into the room lining the walls.
Papaw hasn't been able to talk for years because of his previous strokes, so we all try to keep the conversation going around him. Yesterday we started talking about Emily and asked Papaw who he thought she'd look like. He stared back and forth at both of us for a few seconds and then grinned and pointed at me. Brad completely broke down. I think it had finally hit him that Emily wouldn't know her great-grandfather. We had to stop talking about it because it was just too much for Brad.
They decided yesterday to let Papaw sit up in a chair for about 20 minutes. They thought it might be good for him to change positions, and it might be easier for him to breathe sitting straight up. They moved him to the chair, and he seemed okay. They decided to take his CPAP machine off his mouth and nose and try a cannula for a few minutes. His O2 sat started dropping as soon as they put this on, and the CPAP had to go back on his face.
It's so odd, because when you take the machine off his face, he looks fine...... just like Papaw. But he's struggling to breathe, so we know he's sick. Because his heart isn't pumping like it should, his lungs are filling up with fluid. His organs aren't getting the oxygen they need, so his kidneys have started having problems. It's really hard to watch this happening to him so slowly.
Please continue to pray for us and Brad's family. I don't know what to pray for at this point. I'd been praying for peace as we let him go, but then I feel like I'm giving up on him. I'm not sure you wanted this long novel, but I guess I needed to get it off my chest. The words just kept flowing as I was writing. Thank you for asking about us. I'll update you when we know anything else. I think at this point we're just waiting.
4 comments:
Seeing someone going downhill is so difficult. I will have Brad and his family in my prayers.
OK... I'm completely crying... yes, I'm pregnant, but that is so hard to go through! I feel like we are gradually going to get to that point with Nate's grandpa too who has already had 2 strokes... it's so much harder when things keep gradually getting worse. I'm thinking about you and the family... praying for peace for everyone. Love you!!!
i totally understand what you are going through--it is oddly similar to what we did just a few weeks ago with my grandmother. don't feel bad about praying for a peaceful passing, it's just about the only comfort you have right now. tell brad i am so sorry for his family.
Oh Angie I'm so sorry. I'm just crying away here. I'm praying for you and Brad's family. Love you.
Post a Comment